Unmasking Emotions: What Micro-Expressions Reveal in Relationship Conflicts
By Hansine Dokset, Psychology Intern
Relationships, at their best, are a source of profound joy and connection. Yet, conflict is an inevitable part of any partnership. How we navigate these challenging moments can significantly impact the health and longevity of our relationships. Often, what’s said out loud is only part of the story. Hidden beneath the surface, fleeting facial expressions can betray deeper, unspoken emotions. These are called micro-expressions. Understanding these subtle cues can be a powerful tool in fostering deeper empathy and resolving disagreements more effectively.
What exactly are micro-expressions?
Micro-expressions are non-verbal expressions that can be displayed via various channels, such as facial expressions, bodily postures, or tone of voice (Döllinger et al., 2023). They are subtle, spontaneous, and brisk changes that occur in high-stake environments where involuntary emotional suppression takes place (Gan et al., 2022). Unlike macro-expressions, which are conscious and last from half a second to four seconds, micro-expressions are rapid and subtle facial movements, typically lasting less than half a second (Guerdelli et al., 2022; Wang et al., 2020). This brevity is precisely what makes them so revealing: they are unconscious reactions that are very difficult, or even impossible, to hide or control (Guerdelli et al., 2022).
They occur when an emotional response activates conflicting voluntary and involuntary expressions, briefly showing the true emotion before a false expressive reaction takes over (Guerdelli et al., 2022). These fleeting displays are considered highly objective in emotion detection, as they reveal underlying genuine emotions (Wang et al., 2020). While macro-expressions can be misleading regarding true human emotion, micro-expressions can provide information about conflicting, hidden, repressed, or dissociated emotions (Döllinger et al., 2023; Wang et al., 2020).
Why are they important in partner conflicts?
In the heat of an argument, partners might consciously try to mask their true feelings for various reasons. Either to avoid further escalation, to appear strong, or simply because they aren’t fully aware of their own deeper emotions. This is where micro-expressions become invaluable. The ability to read and correctly recognize your partner´s non-verbal expressions could be beneficial in gaining a more profound understanding of your partner’s true emotional state, even when their words or macro-expressions suggest something different (Döllinger et al., 2023).
The ability to recognize and work with non-verbal emotional expressions is considered a very important asset in partner conflict (Döllinger et al., 2023). Understanding these multiple modalities can offer a more complete picture of what’s truly transpiring emotionally during a conflict.
The “Four Horsemen” and the role of micro-expressions
Relationship research, notably by Dr. John Gottman, identifies patterns of negative communication that can predict relationship failure, referred to as the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”: Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt, and Stonewalling (Gottman & Schwartz Gottman, 2013/2016).
One of these, contempt, is particularly insidious and is, notably, one of the universal emotions that micro-expressions can reveal (Guerdelli et al., 2022). Contempt, alongside disgust, anger, fear, sadness, happiness, and surprise, are among the seven basic emotions that micro-expressions categorize (Guerdelli et al., 2022). If a fleeting micro-expression of contempt crosses your partner’s face, even if they quickly mask it with a neutral or seemingly calm expression, it’s a strong signal of a deeper, negative emotion that needs to be addressed. Similarly, micro-expressions of disgust, anger, or sadness can indicate unresolved hurt, resentment, or a feeling of being misunderstood, even if the verbal exchange is calm or seemingly neutral (Guerdelli et al., 2022; Wang et al., 2020).
The existence of such fleeting, localized movements on the face implies that these genuine emotions are present, regardless of what is being overtly communicated. Recognizing these signals can prompt a pause, a deeper inquiry, and an opportunity to address the true underlying issues rather than surface-level disagreements.
The challenge of spotting them (and why it matters)
Spotting micro-expressions with the naked eye is extremely challenging (Gan et al., 2022; Wang et al., 2020). They are so brief that they often go unnoticed in real-time interactions (Guerdelli et al., 2022). This is why computational analysis has become a crucial step towards automated micro-expression analysis, with specialized training procedures and high-speed cameras often required for accurate detection (Gan et al., 2022; Guerdelli et al., 2022).
While most people might not be able to consciously identify every micro-expression, the very existence of these unconscious signals highlights a critical point: there are often unspoken or suppressed emotions at play during conflict. The ability to recognize non-verbal emotional expressions is considered a very important asset to be better equipped to understand and respond to your partner.
Bridging the gap: from detection to resolution
Even if you can’t spot every micro-expression, knowing about them can shift your perspective during conflict. It encourages you to look beyond words and overt expressions for deeper meaning. Professional training, such as that undergone by trainee psychotherapists, has shown that emotion recognition accuracy can be effectively trained, especially multimodal emotion recognition accuracy (Döllinger et al., 2023). This suggests that with focused effort, individuals can improve their perceptive abilities in understanding others’ emotions.
In conclusion
Micro-expressions, though difficult to perceive, are powerful indicators of genuine, underlying emotions during conflict. While specialized tools or extensive training might be needed for their precise detection, the awareness of their existence alone can encourage a more mindful and empathetic approach to partner communication. By understanding that there may be deeper emotional layers beneath overt expressions, and by employing communication strategies that foster openness and emotional validation, couples can transform conflicts into opportunities for growth and stronger connection. If you find yourselves consistently struggling to understand each other’s true feelings, seeking professional guidance from a psychotherapist can provide invaluable tools and insights, as their training enhances their ability to recognize emotions (Döllinger et al., 2023). Ultimately, cultivating emotional alignment through both self-awareness and relational effort can deepen intimacy and trust. Micro-expressions, when acknowledged as part of the emotional landscape, offer a window into our partner’s inner world. It’s important to remember that partners aren’t necessarily trying to deceive us; discrepancies between their macro and micro expressions can stem from internal conflicts, unspoken fears, or even unprocessed emotions. This is reminding us that beneath every conflict lies a chance to be seen, heard, and genuinely understood.
References
Döllinger, L., Högman, L. B., Laukka, P., Bänziger, T., Makower, I., Fischer, H., & Hau, S. (2023). Trainee psychotherapists’ emotion recognition accuracy improves after training: Emotion recognition training as a tool for psychotherapy education.
Frontiers in Psychology, 14, Article 1188634.
https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1188634
Gan, Y. S., See, J., Khor, H. Q., Liu, K. H., & Liong, S. T. (2022). Needle in a haystack: Spotting and recognising micro-expressions ‘‘in the wild”. Neurocomputing, 503, 283 298.
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neucom.2022.06.101
Gottman, J. M., & Schwartz Gottman, J. (2013/2016). Aftermath of a fight or regrettable incident. The Gottman Institute.
Guerdelli, H., Ferrari, C., Barhoumi, W., Ghazouani, H., & Berretti, S. (2022). Macro- and micro-expressions facial datasets: A survey. Sensors, 22(4), Article 1524.
https://doi.org/10.3390/s22041524
Wang, C., Peng, M., Bi, T., & Chen, T. (2020). Micro-attention for micro-expression recognition. Neurocomputing, 410, 354–362.